People
are different. We all know this to be true. Not just the obvious
differences of age, sex, race, life circumstances, ethnicity.
But different personalities, different behaviors, motivations,
actions and reactions, different ways of understanding, of deciding
what' s important, of communicating. We all know people feel differently
about the same situation. Let's talk about feelings - there are
different responses to, for instance, personal feed back. Some
people respond on an emotional level. Dawn tries to empathize
with the person giving the feed back. Jack adjusts his persona
to accommodate the feed back to his image. Paul wants to connect
meaningfully with the emotions behind the feed back. Some people
experience feelings mentally. Betty tries to understand the
interconnections in the ideas of the feed back. David doubts what
he's hearing. Suzy hears several options in the feed back. Some
people experience feelings in the context of interpersonal boundaries.
Different
people think differently. What about the news that there is an
earthquake in San Francisco? Dawn thinks about the victims and
seeks ways to help through relief agencies. Jack thinks he's lucky
not to be there, groveling in the ruins of all he's built. Paul
thinks of the high drama, and connects with the suffering, pain
and heroism of those involved. Betty thinks about earthquakes:
where do they come from, how do they occur? David thinks of all
the times he. s told people he knows in the Bay area that this
would happen. Suzy thinks of the different ways she'd go about
rebuilding. Chris reacts with rage in the face of his vulnerability
when it comes to natural disasters. Bob takes the long view that
events like the earthquake are part of life and life goes on.
Laura thinks of how much death and destruction could be avoided
if people adhered to stricter building codes.
How
we think and how we feel -- habits of heart and mind -- different
personalities.
There
are three distinct modalities of being, three broad patterns of
behavior, three basic motivations driving people to operate in
the world. One modality can be described as outer-directed attention,
a way of making sense of and operating in the world through
attachment to people and relationships. The emotional context
is the ATTACHERS. environment. Another modality can be described
as inner-directed attention, a way of making sense of and operating
in the world from inside one's head. The mental context is the
DETACHERS' environment. The third modality can be described as
self-protective attention, a way of making sense of and operating
in the world with an awareness of boundaries. The instinctual
context is the DEFENDERS' environment.
These
three modalities are primary patterns of behavior, we each make
our way in the world primarily as Attachers, Detachers, or Defenders.
This does not mean that Detachers and Defenders are not emotional,
or that Attachers and Defenders are not intellectual, or that
Detachers and Attachers do not also struggle with boundaries of
self and other-ness. We are a complex fusion of
these three ways of being, but one is always dominant.
Within
each of the broad patterns presented by these modalities are three
versions of how emotional, mental, and instinctual attention manifests
in personality. The three modalities and profiles of the nine
personality strategies are described below.
ATTACHER
If
you are an Attacher your predominant mode of being is emotional.
Being outer-directed, moving toward people, and knowing where
you stand emotionally in relation to others are central preoccupations;
the dominant issue is approval. Do they like me? You are
activated by your feelings: how you feel about yourself each day,
what moods and emotions you are dealing with affects all you do.
These inner triggers direct your behavior. You are aware of the
feelings of others and how you are coming across-issues of image
are important. Your defenses are marshaled around feelings: to
make your way in the world, you have to learn to deal with feelings.
Some Attachers take pride in denying to themselves that they have
feelings. Other Attachers suspend their feelings, so they don't
interfere with getting the job done. Yet others are constantly
aware of their feelings and can lose their agenda if they allow
feelings to overwhelm them. All Attachers use feelings to open
their hearts to others, a
Key
Issues for Attachers
- Connection:
reaching out, getting through, making contact is affirming to
Attachers.
- Approval:
gaining approval is a major motivation for Attachers.
- Image:
central concerns are tied up in image -- how am I coming across
to others, what image am I conveying, how are people responding
to me?
ATTACHERS
-- THE HELPER (POINT TWO)
Helpers
struggle to know their own needs, but instinctively know the
needs of others. They are sensitive to other people's feelings.
What motivates them at work and at play is knowing what others
need. Helpers convey feelings of warmth, understanding, and
genuine concern in their interactions. Sometimes they feel frustrated
because they're not able to do as much for others as they would
like. To feel comfortable with others, Helpers rely on interpersonal
alignment; they can be sweetly effusive, sincere and quietly
empathetic, firm and plain-talking-all at the same time depending
on the person with whom they are interacting. Helpers have to
be careful, but can juggle several personas concurrently. They
pitch their conversations to elicit approval from others. The
subtext of their conversation is based on personal appeal: "Look
what I can do for you. You need my help. I am here to serve
you." They feel misunderstood if others think they're trying
to manipulate them: they want to be perceived
Helpers
develop a gracious environment whether at home or at work built
on mutual approval. They pick proteges, or champion persons
of consequence. The selected person is wrapped in a cloak of
largess and service. Helpers work long hours to open doors,
and keep them open, with anticipatory expectations of gratitude
and heightened emotional responsiveness in return. Yet helpers
can feel harried by their constant need for approval and acceptance.
Often Helpers recognize that they have a need to give, but far
more subtle insight is required if they are to see that their
sub-text in giving is a need to be loved, to be popular, to
be admired. If they feel underappreciated they can become emotional
and demanding.
Helpers
project a positive persona and turn on stellar performances
day after day. They are usually popular. Their excellent communication
skills, the special care and attention they turn on for bosses,
or peers they deem significant, elicit admiration, popularity
and love. Helpers breathe approval like oxygen. This is the
bottom line - the need to be approved, even loved, is the reason
for giving.
Helpers
appear to be independent but internally know how much time they
spend attending to others. They attend to the needs of a group
as a whole, but they assiduously monitor the progress of several
"favorites." They can keep a mental tab running of different
peoples' schedules and agendas' and manifest unexpected, but
appreciated, behind-the-scenes support. They value the private
confidentiality and emotional resonance such support engenders.
Helpers
do not like their efforts to appear self-serving, but will give
unstintingly of themselves on behalf of the organization for
which they work. It is tempting to devote too much time to a
job that has interpersonal appeal. They will volunteer to do
the additional assignment, or spend extra unforeseen hours on
a project. They devote time to developing peers' potential,
and welfare, and take pride in others' accomplishments, while
often thinking: "They couldn't have done that without me." They
work hard at making relationships happen. The allure of someone
else's needs always seems more important than the Helpers' own
needs.
ATTACHERS
- THE PERFORMER (POINT THREE)
Performers
literally perform, both in the sense of getting the job
done, and constantly seeking to be the center of attention.
Performers like to think of themselves as the role models of
their professions - the image is of confidence, brisk efficiency,
solid skills, and leadership. They believe who they are as people
is tied up with what they accomplish. Coming first, being a
winner, is strong motivation for Performers, who get a lot of
recognition and reward for what they do. Performers play a central
role in their undertakings, they are unmistakably present; they
create the environment, set tasks, direct interactions, achieve
goals. They communicate by persuasion: "This model works for
me, it'll work for you." They get a lot done, most of it successfully.
Performers
play to their peers and colleagues, basking in the applause
and approval. They play their "audience" with skill and a finely
tuned ability to pick up on pockets of resistance to their message.
They adjust their voice, vocabulary, emotional range and body
language until they feel they have their "audience" (even if
it's one other person) "in their hand." Performers are goal-directed:
they drive themselves and expect the same commitment from others.
The
results are what count - get the job done, efficiently, without
fuss or fretting. Performers will not be bothered with their
own or others' feelings or emotional responses; not if these
stand in the way of completing the task at hand. They are impatient
with people who waste their time through bad planning and inefficiency.
They hate being held up by illness, incompetence, whatever-and
will rather complete the task themselves. Natural leaders, they
are also team players when they respect the leader.
Performers
sweep up others in their forward-driving energy. They move directly
from idea to action with little time lag to accommodate the
hesitancy of more skeptical or cautious peers. They know from
experience how hard it is for others to resist their goal-directed
momentum. Performers thrive on the energy and excitement generated
by their interactions with others. It is a high when the energy
drives a meeting along.
Performers
see the overall goal as getting from Point A to Point Z. This
goal is sorted into various tasks, prioritized, and assigned
a time frame - two hours, within a week, this quarter. The larger
goal is made manageable in sequential blocks of time. Performers
can juggle several tasks at the same time. Time not used to
do something, is time wasted. Performers think in terms of deadlines
- an objective measure of progress at any given time.
Performers
feel an illusion of control when there is constant activity
around them. In the downtime after attaining a goal, often Performers
can be at a loss what to do with themselves. There is time and
space to regard peers and colleagues, not as units to fulfill
the Performers agenda, but as people with their own priorities,
problems, and responses. This is when Performers. experience
feelings and become aware of their exhaustion, accompanied by
an unwelcome insecurity. Doubts can arise that affect the Performers.
overarching self-confidence. But the time can be used by Performers
to think things through, replacing their tendency to what is
often glib superficiality and quick-fix answers.
ATTACHERS
- THE ROYAL FAMILY (POINT FOUR)
The
Royal Family live in a rich emotional world. They have a sense
of their own uniqueness, yet, paradoxically, Royals focus not
on what they have, but on what. s missing. The Royal Family
think of themselves as different from others, and can often
feel lonely and misunderstood. They feel they bring the gift
of themselves. unique, creative talent and depth. to both what
they do and to the people with whom they interact. They care
deeply about people and seek emotionally meaningful connections.
They take pride in their own and their peers. achievements and
experience a fulfilling emotional connection at being part of
meaningful and valuable creativity: "Something special." Royals
devalue themselves in comparison to others who seem to have
more, or better. This self-denigration can manifest as competitive
envy.
Royals
embody emotionality, and a dramatic tone imbues their relationships.
Relationships are all-important. They regard themselves as sensitive,
with the ability to experience feelings deeply. Royals are aware
of a push-pull in relationships: they can come across as aloof
and self-absorbed or, conversely, as vitally interested. this
inconsistency is often bewildering to others.
Royals
often violate boundaries in other people because they yearn
for connection both to deep feelings and relationships. They
can overdramatize their feelings to the discomfort of others.
They like to be liked and to have their efforts appreciated.
Yet often when praise comes their way, Royals deflect it. the
glass is always half empty. They experience a cycle of expectation
and then regret. Royals experience the onset of a high with
any new venture that they are close to, but, invariably, regret
follows as the Royals. thoughts turn to what is missing in the
venture. The Royal Family need to learn to value the flat, ordinary
moments in all undertakings, and take their attention off the
dramatic high-low extremes. The unavailability of emotional
sustenance can lead to melancholy, even depression.
The
daily passage of time with its routine tasks is of little consequence
to the Royal Family. They live for the grand-scale occurrences
that color what they often feel is the dull oblivion of the
rest of their lives. The time when deep feelings emerge in interactions,
or on projects, is memorable; yet Royals cannot recall the ordinary
matters of everyday life. It is hard for the Royal Family to
stay in the present moment. NOW is filled with nostalgia and
associative memories of options not exercised and "if only"
thinking. This year's highlights are seen in the rosy-hued mythic
light of significant moments of the past. The Royal Family measures
their lives by dramatic interpersonal events beyond the passage
of time.
DETACHER
If
you are a Detacher your predominant mode of being is mental. Being
inner-directed, moving away from people, and seeking to make sense
of the world through mental processes and activities, are central
preoccupations. The realm of the mind is where you feel most comfortable:
living in the imagination, conceptualizing, fantasizing, analyzing,
forming contexts, and synthesizing, are all based on mental activity.
Even when you are with people, you tend to escape into your mind.
planning other options, running other scenarios, looking for new
concepts to make ideas lock together. Your energy is mental. Some
Detachers escape into the imagination where ideas swing freely.
a state of mind called monkey-mind. Other Detachers question everything
in their minds and voice their doubts. They like to think through
the hard questions to build a fail-safe argument. Yet others live
in an investigative mental mode: seeking knowledge to build interconnections
among ideas and come to new understandings.
Key
Issues for Detachers
- Interconnections:
seeking the key among ideas to unlock life's big-picture puzzles.
- Mental
argument: seeking certainty through logic and rational thinking.
- Imagination:
fantasizing, creating pleasant options, with a major emphasis
on planning.
DETACHERS
- THE OBSERVER (POINT FIVE)
Observers
move away from people. By detaching from the outer world and realizing
their thoughts and emotions in a rich inner life, Observers feel
secure. They minimize participation as a way of keeping their
inner selves intact. They need more privacy and private time than
most people do. When alone they relive experiences and can find
it easier to get in touch with feelings than when living them
the first time.
Helpers
struggle to know their own needs, but instinctively know the needs
of others. They are sensitive to other people's feelings. What
motivates them at work and at play is knowing what others need.
Helpers convey feelings of warmth, understanding, and genuine
concern in their interactions. Sometimes they feel frustrated
because they're not able to do as much for others as they would
like. To feel comfortable with others, Helpers rely on interpersonal
alignment; they can be sweetly effusive, sincere and quietly empathetic,
firm and plain-talking-all at the same time depending on the person
with whom they are interacting. Helpers have to be careful, but
can juggle several personas concurrently. They pitch their conversations
to elicit approval from others. The subtext of their conversation
is based on personal appeal: "Look what I can do for you. You
need my help. I am here to serve you." They feel misunderstood
if others think they're trying to manipulate them: they want to
be perceived as warm-hearted and sensitive.
Observers
connect with others through an exchange of ideas. They try to
be impassive and objective, stony-faced in meetings, to convey
that everyones' ideas are equally valid. Often accused of being
unresponsive, the rejoinder is that all ideas are listened to
without value judgments. Observers maintain that by not talking
unnecessarily; they empower others who need to be listened to.
From the Observers. point of view their detachment shows respect
for their peers. boundaries. Yet colleagues may interpret their
noninvolvement as negative lack of interest.
Observers
are careful about how they spend their time and energy. They apportion
time to anticipated demands- being in the office, attending a
meeting, traveling to a client. Unexpected demands and spontaneous
invitations are jarring; they assess the demand with a reactive
response: "What will I get for my time?" Time spent in mental
pursuits is time well-spent: Observers hold dear the notion that
knowledge is power. Knowledge is never given away wholesale; people
have to earn access to the Observers hard-won treasure-house through
diligent effort and evidence of real thinking.
DETACHERS
- THE QUESTIONER (POINT SIX)
Questioners
regard the world as inherently unsafe, and they seek certainty
and safety, their attention focused on potential threats. Highly
imaginative, they are as good at locking onto what is potentially,
as well as what actually is, dangerous. Questioners either run
away from danger or meet it full force. If something is thought
through in a logical way, the conclusion is reliable. Thinking
things through and skepticism are high on the Questioners. list.
To feel safe with people, Questioners want evidence that they
can interact with their own thinking. Doubting peoples. intentions,
they generate an interrogative climate around themselves, where
argument and counterargument are welcomed so that everyone ends
up with clear conclusions, albeit drawn from different perspectives.
Questioners
believe that everyone can think deductively. They want peers to
come up with probing questions that reveal thought and skepticism.
Their own questioning attitude to life can make them come across
as sharp and critical. People often misinterpret anxious prodding
at their thinking as personal attacks, or being treated with unwarranted
suspicion. Questioners can be perceived as setting up a case against
a peer.
Questioners
are ambivalent about themselves in positions of leadership. They
alternate between being rigidly authoritarian and nonauthoritarian.
Their own inner doubts cause the swing. When they are afraid of
being challenged, they exert control, when they are filled with
inner conviction, they relax and become permissive. Seeking predictability
and safety, they view the authority of their bosses with skepticism.
Periods of blind allegiance oscillate with rebellious insurrection.
Questioners
are constantly vigilant; an inner radar system seeks out the hidden
intentions of others. This wariness is often perceived as reactive
negativism. Unanswered questions, or unexpressed anger, undermines
the basis of trust they have built with colleagues. Procrastination
sets in until doubts are resolved, until the Questioner can separate
negative feedback from a personal attack.
Questioners
can put aside personal doubts in service of a cause - they are
loyal to the company, or an idea. Once established, their inner
conviction lets them feel certain in promoting their cause. They
trust objective data far more than personal assurances. Questioners
see danger in acting openly, but inaction, procrastination, is
equally dangerous through missed deadlines and failed enterprises.
Yet Questioners can act on behalf of others, and rally the troops
behind a person or ideal in which they believe. Once committed,
they are generally loyal.
Questioners
experience time as an authority looming over them and which they
must obey. In fact most of the people and circumstances in their
lives become the authority with which they must wrestle. They
perceive themselves as constantly on the rack of responsibility
to satisfy the authority whatever form it takes.
DETACHERS
- THE OPTIMIST (POINT SEVEN)
Optimists
are focused on future plans and new and exciting options. When
reality bites, Optimists escape into an inner world where there
are no limits; being occupied with upbeat ideas obviates painful
circumstances. High-energy Optimists have many balls in the air.
They focus on keeping them up there. Optimists are fascinated
by ideas and interesting options, such as the way to change a
process, or design a new plant. They dislike doing the same thing
the same way twice - new input, new ideas from articles, new problems
present exciting directions to try.
Optimists
are process people, planners. The plan's the thing, the doing
of it is left to lesser beings. They can spend hours at their
desks thinking through how to present material or a promotion
plan. Optimists never feel they have exhausted the possibilities
of their subject - the layers, the variety, the complexity are
fascinating. Optimists imbue positive mental energy and alertness,
their minds race with myriad ideas and responses. Often their
associative mental leaps to creative conclusions are too fast
for others to follow. Peers need to tell them to slow down their
thinking. Colleagues can feel swept away by the Optimists' mental
intensity.
Optimists
are fluid, multioptional thinkers, they assume that others are
also comfortable with shifts in direction, choosing between options,
and moving among ideas. Optimists exercise mental ellipses and
reframe concepts in ways that baffle other thinkers. There is
always another way to present the material; and to the Optimist,
on-the-spot ideas - as they arise - seem brilliant and important
to throw into the mix, now. It is hard to pinpoint the Optimists'
position; they are mercurial; ideas and concepts do intersect
and connect, and options change as new information is acquired
and processed.
Optimists
try to grasp at the pattern of another person's thinking: how
that person sees themselves, what are the components of their
thinking, what issues fascinate them; are they detail or big-picture
thinkers, open to new possibilities, or conservative? They subconsciously
classify people by how they think. Discovering how others think
allows Optimists to get on with them by mirroring a perspective,
or framing an approach. The ability to form patterns and make
mental connections is of basic concern to Optimists. Optimists
can come across as having a sense of personal entitlement as they
believe people are entitled to a pleasant life. Your time, effort,
and attention are at their disposal. They'll charm and disarm
you.
Optimists
experience time like an elastic band with an almost infinite capacity
to expand. Time expands to enable them to fit in all their plans
and options. Time does not impose limit around their commitments.
DEFENDER
If
you are a Defender your predominant mode of being is instinctual.
Being aware of boundaries around yourself, your tendency is to
feel brushed up against people - you need to establish your space:
here I am deal with me. Intuition, "gut" feelings, and nonverbal
information are important. The body is where you sense your relationships
to others and to the world. You have an intuitive information-gathering
system. You say: "I feel it in my body." "I have a gut feel for
that." You have a belly laugh. It is easy for you to lose yourself
behind your boundaries' a state of mind called self-forgetting.
Sometimes you can feel like a mouse rattling around in a great
suit of armor. Some Defenders make their presence felt by being
confrontations and combative. Other Defenders are stubborn and
signal that they won't be pushed around when they take a passive-aggressive
stance. Yet others establish their self-identity and protect interpersonal
boundaries through being critical and judgmental.
Key
Issues for Defenders
- Instinct:
trusting their intuitive sense of how they feel about something
is the only way for Defenders to feel comfortable.
- Being
heard: it is important to Defenders' sense of self that people
listen when they have something to say.
- Feeling
respected: this helps Defenders establish their space, and enables
them to be present.
DEFENDERS
- THE BOSS (POINT EIGHT)
Bosses
live with an innate sense of power and control. Confrontation
for the Boss is a way of reading the world, of establishing where
the power is, and of knowing who has control. Exerting control
is a way of moving through what to the Boss is an inherently unjust
world. Bosses use confrontation as a way of connecting with others.
They assume that confrontation is part of interactions; those
who stand up for themselves are most able and most open. If Bosses
sense that someone is not being honest, they will push and push,
to provoke a response. When Bosses feel a connection with someone
who stands up for what they believe, they will become a protector
and do everything to support that person. Bosses empower those
under their protection with a mixture of challenge and support.
They do not tolerate weakness in people, unless they see where
it's coming from. Their anger can be devastating and abusive.
Bosses commit themselves with passionate conviction to what they
do. Often their anger arises in defense of a belief system, but
they come across as personally confrontational. Bosses spend a
lot of time mending fences.
Bosses
make their own rules. They believe rules are to be broken. This
often causes a dilemma: how to hold the structure of the organization,
while believing those rules and regulations are not always productive
or beneficial. Bosses take charge. They do not realize their own
force. Control is a survival strategy: peers and colleagues either
fall in line or resist. Bosses want to establish how people operate
under pressure. Bosses are invested in finding out where people
stand. Cower, defy, resist, comply - this information is vital
to those who are` constantly judging if it is safe to lower their
guard and be vulnerable. Vulnerability means exposure, feeling
fragile, being open to people coming after them. Bosses come across
as powerful. It is difficult for peers to know that the other
side of the bombastic Boss is soft sentimentality.
As
with rules, Boss's control time: if his meeting runs late, that's
okay, but don't be late for his meeting. Dominant Bosses like
to be on centerstage, such as when they are in charge, then people
know their impact. Other times of less-high-intensity are of little
consequence and can be forgotten, fudged, or ignored. Bosses think
they own time; and that delusion of control often blind-sides
them when they are caught in the consequences of their power rushes'
deadlines and appointments missed, angry or anguished colleagues,
bosses and peers knocking at the door, demanding an explanation.
DEFENDERS
- THE PEACE KEEPER
Peace
Keepers are reluctant self-starters, their attention is focused
on the agendas of others. They have forgotten themselves, energy
and motivation arise from without, not from within. They try to
create a climate of harmonious interaction wherever they are -
don't rock the boat - there are many sides to every question.
They are natural mediators, although conflict and dealing with
conflict is distracting and exhausting. A satisfactory day at
work has more to do with watching others work productively together
than a feeling of self-achievement. Nines easily establish rapport
and laid back comfort with colleagues.
Peace
Keepers believe in the concept of a level playing field - it is
hard to establish objectives and priorities when every person,
every idea, every project gets equal time. Others' demands can
be too pressing, but Peace Keepers become obstinate and obdurate
rather than display overt anger. They believe expressing anger
is damaging, so they rarely allow themselves to be overtly angry,
hence others do not always take their anger seriously. Anger usually
takes the form of passive aggressive-behavior - a go-slow attitude
to work deadlines, procrastination in getting things done.
Peace
Keepers see the world as a flat, even place-setting priorities,
for example, is difficult because all demands are equally important,
as are making choices or reaching decisions. Peace Keepers delay
by constantly weighing up the pros and cons and seeking advice.
This gives them breadth of information, but makes action even
more difficult. Peace Keepers feel comfortable sitting on the
fence, but colleagues can feel mired in the Peacekeeper's indecision.
Peace
Keepers believe everything happens in its own time; given enough
time, priorities, choices, decisions, sort themselves out. Time
sets its own course and carries Peace Keepers to where they are
going to end up anyway. Whatever is not completed that day, or
week, or quarter, will be done thereafter. There is always more
time to attend to everything.
DEFENDERS
- THE PERFECTIONIST (POINT ONE)
Perfectionists
live in world where a sense of inner direction drives them to
achieve. They seek perfection in an imperfect world. They live
with an innate sense of what's right. they think they know what's
wrong and how to fix it. Things must be done the right way, they
do things right and are judgmental of those who don't. Perfectionists
believe in what they say and do.
They
feel they owe it to themselves and others to be competent to handle
any details, whether it's a presentation or a process. They focus
on the details and facts. Ideas and materials are conveyed in
ways that model precision, ethics, and responsibility. They have
a convincing, albeit preachy, way of communicating, underscored
with "right thinking" messages. Others can feel judged if they
disagree with Perfectionists. Yet their moralistic energy, which
may sometimes be overzealous, is largely appreciated as authentic
and inspiring.
When
they are committed, Ones are inspiring leaders and colleagues,
imbuing others with the force of their own inner conviction. Perfectionists
are obsessively self-critical. They spend hours preparing material,
deliberately building a model from intricate details. They struggle
to make complex notions orderly, and are uncomfortable with open-ended
options. They also do not like changing gear halfway through a
process.Nonetheless plans B, C, and D, while not always written
out, are at their fingertips to cope with the unexpected.
Perfectionists
have to deal with a severe inner critic that produces an unrelenting
commentary on their lives. They realize the critic is a feature
of their own consciousness, but find it extremely difficult to
ignore such a familiar manifestation of their thinking. Paying
attention to the inner critic is a major drain of time and energy.
Any activity and its progress is monitored against the critic's
measure of perfection: "Do it right, or don't do it at all." Deadlines
are a struggle, because the inner pressure to produce a perfect
piece of work also has to be perfectly timed. They can resent
others who don't do things properly, although they try not to
show open anger.
Perfectionists
live under the whip of time. The inner critic drives them to account
for themselves. Their work schedules mirror their preoccupation
with correctness - good people work hard and play later, maybe.
Procrastination arises with fear of making mistakes. Time is siphoned
away from a project by a Perfectionist paying too much attention
to time-consuming details. Work schedules reflect time well-spent
-- meetings, appointments, preparation -- the "must dos." There
is no free time to schedule "time off" for pleasure and fun.
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